Monday Free Write
This is what I wanted to say last Monday, but just couldn't find the words for.
I was 12 when Columbine Massacre happened. I was too young for it to make much of an impact, other than to this day I look at people with trench coats funny; convinced they are hiding guns underneath.
I was 20 and in college when the Virginia Tech Massacre. Despite being hundreds of miles away, it was the first mass shooting that I can remember deeply affecting me. . I just remember thinking this was college. It's supposed to be the wildest time in my life. School shootings were for bullied high schools who thought they had no other choice. (Because that's what they told us Columbine was all about... little did I understand the truth at that time). And now I no longer felt safe. What was to stop it from happening at my college?
And then last year 3 months after we had welcomed Lion the Paris Massacre happened. It was the worst to date. And I just remember thinking how am I supposed to raise these two boys to be brave and to conquer the world, when at any given moment somebody could walk into a room and either start shooting it up or blow it up or both. And for really no good reason. It hit me hard. And I still have those feelings.
In December, we had a near miss at Disney Springs. What may have happened or what may not have happened doesn't really matter. It was absolutely the most terrifying moment in my life. And I still don't have the words to accurately describe how I felt, other than completely unsafe.
All of this leads up to what happened last Sunday morning. All though we just had a close call nearly 6 months prior, it just seemed to impossible to happen in Orlando. Orlando is the city I grew up in. Maybe because of Disney or because of its in the middle of Florida, its a melting pot of all types of people and I grew up learning people are people and you don't get to judge them based on their color of their skin, religion or sexual orientation. It always seemed like such a safe place. (Such a safe place that I returned to after college and eventually started a family here).
So even a week later it's impossible to believe that something so terrible could happen in my little town. And that unsafe feeling I had eventually gotten over from December returned. If it could happen Downtown in the middle of the night at a Night club, what would stop the next one from going after Disney Springs? What would stop somebody from shooting up any of the stores I shop at? And as an outsider to the whole situation, that is the worst feeling to have to be left with.
That's the thing they don't tell you about mass tragedies. It has a rippling effect that reaches all over the community. I just hope that the rippling effect of healing that is going on right now will reach out just as far.
I was 20 and in college when the Virginia Tech Massacre. Despite being hundreds of miles away, it was the first mass shooting that I can remember deeply affecting me. . I just remember thinking this was college. It's supposed to be the wildest time in my life. School shootings were for bullied high schools who thought they had no other choice. (Because that's what they told us Columbine was all about... little did I understand the truth at that time). And now I no longer felt safe. What was to stop it from happening at my college?
And then last year 3 months after we had welcomed Lion the Paris Massacre happened. It was the worst to date. And I just remember thinking how am I supposed to raise these two boys to be brave and to conquer the world, when at any given moment somebody could walk into a room and either start shooting it up or blow it up or both. And for really no good reason. It hit me hard. And I still have those feelings.
In December, we had a near miss at Disney Springs. What may have happened or what may not have happened doesn't really matter. It was absolutely the most terrifying moment in my life. And I still don't have the words to accurately describe how I felt, other than completely unsafe.
All of this leads up to what happened last Sunday morning. All though we just had a close call nearly 6 months prior, it just seemed to impossible to happen in Orlando. Orlando is the city I grew up in. Maybe because of Disney or because of its in the middle of Florida, its a melting pot of all types of people and I grew up learning people are people and you don't get to judge them based on their color of their skin, religion or sexual orientation. It always seemed like such a safe place. (Such a safe place that I returned to after college and eventually started a family here).
So even a week later it's impossible to believe that something so terrible could happen in my little town. And that unsafe feeling I had eventually gotten over from December returned. If it could happen Downtown in the middle of the night at a Night club, what would stop the next one from going after Disney Springs? What would stop somebody from shooting up any of the stores I shop at? And as an outsider to the whole situation, that is the worst feeling to have to be left with.
That's the thing they don't tell you about mass tragedies. It has a rippling effect that reaches all over the community. I just hope that the rippling effect of healing that is going on right now will reach out just as far.
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